How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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