Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
