I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
