the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize