I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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