its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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