Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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