I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
