Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
