so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
