My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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