the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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