id be glad to
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
