hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the condom got lost in my hair
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
