at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
