Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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