kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
