And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
