She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
