who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize