We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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