the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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