I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
