my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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