Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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