My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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