My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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