Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
