we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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