That's when you crack a 10am beer
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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