I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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