Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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