My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you win again, gameday.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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