Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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