Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
