You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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