I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
