I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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