If that was your dad, he is hot
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
