Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
