There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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