Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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