I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
