My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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