Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
