in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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