I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
