Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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