Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
