some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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