nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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