Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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