i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
