Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
