i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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