she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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