i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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