I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize