she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
