Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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