I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
