Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
