drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
