I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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