We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize