I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
