this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
