This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
