I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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